The authorities all seem to have their funny little ways. I was taken by two daft stories over the Christmas period.

On Radio 4 it was reported that one local authority in the Home Counties had warned businesses not to break the law by offering customers a glass of wine. A flute of champers with the shampoo and set or a glass of mulled wine in the pet shop and you’re going to trash the town? Especially if you’ve just had your hair done or bought a hamster. How many were sharing the brain cell at that particular local authority? And, in the national press, it was reported that Bob Singh was visited by police at his Landmark store in Port Talbot, Glamorgan, to advise him that the Christmas-cracker style jokes he was printing on his promotional leaflets were potentially inflammatory and offensive and he should remove them. (Two examples: What do you do if your wife staggers? Shoot her again. What’s the difference between a Welsh woman and a Welsh goddess? An eight-pack of Stella from Bob’s.) Bob has been printing his leaflets for more than 10 years and ensures none of the jokes are rascist. He has put an apology in his window.