I don't know about you but I thought the royal wedding was luverly. Sunny day, faultless pageantry, with good-looking happy people, millions not rioting in the streets and parks. What was not to like? Hopefully, the four-day weekends and sunshine brought you more customers. It brought me more time off and, I admit, I needed it. I don't ever take long holidays any more. Too tricky I have no stand-in. And the job can get quite stressful, believe it or not. Retailers do ring me with their tips and funnies, but mostly it's their problems, their nightmares even. And I get shouted at a fair bit by companies that I know hate hearing from me.

On one hand, I can think OMG, another ruddy problem that is going to be hard-hard-hard, especially with that company. On the other, it's not me enduring the stitch-up, the real threat, the lost money, the lost sleep, so I should shut up right now. Still, got any good jokes? Do share.