We've had rude customers (conducting the entire transaction while still yakking into their mobiles), threatening customers and hold-your-nose smelly customers all making appearances in this column.

Now, for the first time, I bring you urination. I know, not nice, but I want to find out, on behalf of my anonymous retailer, whether she's the only reader to have suffered from widdle kiddies being allowed to wee in her car park.

It happened twice in one week. One mum did at least hold the toddler over a drain, but the second let her three-ish year-old do his own thing. "She tried to hide him behind the food cages," she said, "and it went everywhere." It wasn't as though the customer didn't have access to conveniences as the public loos are opposite.

The retailer runs a Budgens so a fresh image is uppermost. The staff immediately hosed the cages down with industrial strength Sprint Amo (as used in hospitals) and she notified the Musgrave head office of a potential case of contamination of the food chain.

She wondered if there was any redress. The Environmental Health Officer said it was a health hazard as it had happened in the goods-in area, but suggested informing the police as it was a public order offence. Now that would have looked good in the local paper, wouldn't it?

As there is nothing in the Public Health Act regarding this sort of contamination she is going to lobby her MP to appeal to health minister Andrew Lansley on the matter.

I suggested a sign (as did the EHOs). I have seen some good ones in car parks 'Please park prettily' in a flower-bedecked pub and 'No wonky ones' in a pub with little space.

Has it happened to you? Any workable sign ideas? Anyone have a son or daughter in the medical profession who can tell us how long urine remains a hazard?