Regular correspondent Subhash Varambhia sent me a scan of The Telegraph’s ‘subscription programme retailer order advice’, informing him that the customer’s vouchers entitled them to delivered copies of the Daily Telegraph and Sunday Telegraph for seven days a week, for 13 weeks. The delivery address was Newport Pagnell.

Fine and dandy except Subhash’s store, Snutch News, is in Leicester. He wrote: “If anyone dares doubt my status as ‘the greatest home delivery newsagent’, here is the proof. The Telegraph would like me to deliver newspapers 40 miles-plus away. He adds a P.S. “My former customers, Mr and Mrs D, have relocated to Milton Keynes.”